Since as early as late September, I've been trying to re-kindle the old AMC Monster Fest spirit by watching nothing but horror and monster movies through
Halloween. I've got plenty of classics coming my way, but I started things off watching all the dregs at the bottom of my Netflix queue. I've seen some
awfully bad movies over the past few days (and a few quite good ones.), and after the total crap I viewed just now (I will write about it later this week after
I recover.) , FRANKENSTEIN ISLAND is looking better and better to me.
Yes, FRANKENSTEIN ISLAND!
For those of you who have managed to avoid ever seeing it, I will give a quick rundown of the plot just soon as I can work it out for myself.
Stock footage hot air balloons are swept up in an off screen storm and deposited on a craggy desert island. The stranded balloonist and their dog soon meet up with a tribe of all marginally attractive females in bikinis (who are later revealed to be the descendants of space aliens!) who are harassed by a crusty band of modern day shipped recked sailors who inexplicably break into full blown "Ar!" sea pirate speak from time to time.
The sailors arrange for our protagonists to meet the island inhabitant's benefactor, up there in yar yonder castle, which to the best I recall also remains firmly off screen. We cut to a shot of black velvet framed cleavage, and as the camera pulls back we see the breasts belong to a late-middle aged woman with mis-matched hair extensions and wig who introduces herself as Lady Frankenstein.
Lady Frankenstein apparently came to the island either a hundred and so years ago, or maybe just 30 years ago, because she was married to Frankenstein's loyal assistant. Said assistant and Frankenstein had come to the island at some point (a hundred years ago? 30 years ago? I couldn't make it out.) attracted to the prospect of learning the technology of the advanced alien race that once crashed there. And while Frankenstein himself has long passed away into a brain in a jar and apparitions of a no doubt confused John Carradine sitting in a chair somewhere spouting lines like "The power! The power! The Power!), the assistant is alive and nearing 200 years of age. And he's kept alive by constant blood transfusions by the caged, Poe spouting former captain of the stranded sailors.
Lead Balloonist cast-away, Robert Clarke, being a scientist and all, is enthralled by Lady Frankenstein's work and appears to become her eager assistant. Meanwhile his co-horts plot to build a raft (always off screen.) and escape the island with at least one marginally attractive amazon. But Frankenstein's brain-in-a-jar and an army of ghoulish, bloodless.... men in black knit caps, jeans and sunglasses, stand in their way!
Yes, it is all as boring and tedious to view as it is to summarize. I recommend vigorous exercise to get you through the many long, slow bits, as the climatic battle at the end is a real hoot!
The original Frankenstein Monster, whose been chained to a underwater reef all these years, is unleashed in a last ditch effort to save the Frankenstein work from the marauding cast-a-ways and their marginally attractive alien Amazon friends. When I have a few days to kill I really must check to see if this guy is discussed in the "Who Played the Monster: Film by Film." thread, as I found him fascinating!
I'm surprised Universal didn't raise a fuss over the flat headed Monster, but I guess there is little sense in suing the poor. What really surprised me was that this z-grade Monster does his darnedest to emulate Lugosi's blind monster. And I don't just mean the classic and cliched arms outstretched walk. Once the Monster joins the melee in the lab, he just stands there wildly swiping at the air in every direction while his gaze is elsewhere. Lame attempts at the Monster's famous "RRRRR!" aside, it might be a pretty darn reasonable portrayal of a blind Frankenstein Monster stuck in a small laboratory room overflowing with Amazons, Pirates, and fiendish undead ghoul men in black knit caps and sunglasses, engaged in mortal combat around him. But the Monster is proven to be sighted when he hurls a tiny, candy glass beaker at a bank of blinking lights hanging on the wall. He then makes as if he will tear the small, candy glass beaker-proof bank of blinking lights off the wall, but stops when he remembers how much the deposit was at the prop rental warehouse.
For the most part the Monster just stands all by his lonesome, flailing his arms, while everyone around him engages in a hilariously lame fight sequence. His wild gesturing and lack of interaction with the combatants soon had me feeling rather sorry him. He just stands there all "Hey! It's me! Frankenstein Monster! Someone pay attention to me!"
But then a sailor/pirate helpfully walks up to him and stands an arms length away and patiently waits to be throttled. A throttling by the way, that again made me think someone behind the camera of before, very much had the Lugosi Monster in mind. Its staging is reminiscent of Ygortstein/Wolfman throttling still.
The film has a few snickers spread through out, but is tough going. But those with the stamina will be rewarded with the funniest "Amazons VS Pirates VS Ghouls in Black Knit Caps and Sunglasses while the Frankenstein Monster stands around looking desperate for attention" scene I have ever seen.
Yes, FRANKENSTEIN ISLAND!
For those of you who have managed to avoid ever seeing it, I will give a quick rundown of the plot just soon as I can work it out for myself.
Stock footage hot air balloons are swept up in an off screen storm and deposited on a craggy desert island. The stranded balloonist and their dog soon meet up with a tribe of all marginally attractive females in bikinis (who are later revealed to be the descendants of space aliens!) who are harassed by a crusty band of modern day shipped recked sailors who inexplicably break into full blown "Ar!" sea pirate speak from time to time.
The sailors arrange for our protagonists to meet the island inhabitant's benefactor, up there in yar yonder castle, which to the best I recall also remains firmly off screen. We cut to a shot of black velvet framed cleavage, and as the camera pulls back we see the breasts belong to a late-middle aged woman with mis-matched hair extensions and wig who introduces herself as Lady Frankenstein.
Lady Frankenstein apparently came to the island either a hundred and so years ago, or maybe just 30 years ago, because she was married to Frankenstein's loyal assistant. Said assistant and Frankenstein had come to the island at some point (a hundred years ago? 30 years ago? I couldn't make it out.) attracted to the prospect of learning the technology of the advanced alien race that once crashed there. And while Frankenstein himself has long passed away into a brain in a jar and apparitions of a no doubt confused John Carradine sitting in a chair somewhere spouting lines like "The power! The power! The Power!), the assistant is alive and nearing 200 years of age. And he's kept alive by constant blood transfusions by the caged, Poe spouting former captain of the stranded sailors.
Lead Balloonist cast-away, Robert Clarke, being a scientist and all, is enthralled by Lady Frankenstein's work and appears to become her eager assistant. Meanwhile his co-horts plot to build a raft (always off screen.) and escape the island with at least one marginally attractive amazon. But Frankenstein's brain-in-a-jar and an army of ghoulish, bloodless.... men in black knit caps, jeans and sunglasses, stand in their way!
Yes, it is all as boring and tedious to view as it is to summarize. I recommend vigorous exercise to get you through the many long, slow bits, as the climatic battle at the end is a real hoot!
The original Frankenstein Monster, whose been chained to a underwater reef all these years, is unleashed in a last ditch effort to save the Frankenstein work from the marauding cast-a-ways and their marginally attractive alien Amazon friends. When I have a few days to kill I really must check to see if this guy is discussed in the "Who Played the Monster: Film by Film." thread, as I found him fascinating!
I'm surprised Universal didn't raise a fuss over the flat headed Monster, but I guess there is little sense in suing the poor. What really surprised me was that this z-grade Monster does his darnedest to emulate Lugosi's blind monster. And I don't just mean the classic and cliched arms outstretched walk. Once the Monster joins the melee in the lab, he just stands there wildly swiping at the air in every direction while his gaze is elsewhere. Lame attempts at the Monster's famous "RRRRR!" aside, it might be a pretty darn reasonable portrayal of a blind Frankenstein Monster stuck in a small laboratory room overflowing with Amazons, Pirates, and fiendish undead ghoul men in black knit caps and sunglasses, engaged in mortal combat around him. But the Monster is proven to be sighted when he hurls a tiny, candy glass beaker at a bank of blinking lights hanging on the wall. He then makes as if he will tear the small, candy glass beaker-proof bank of blinking lights off the wall, but stops when he remembers how much the deposit was at the prop rental warehouse.
For the most part the Monster just stands all by his lonesome, flailing his arms, while everyone around him engages in a hilariously lame fight sequence. His wild gesturing and lack of interaction with the combatants soon had me feeling rather sorry him. He just stands there all "Hey! It's me! Frankenstein Monster! Someone pay attention to me!"
But then a sailor/pirate helpfully walks up to him and stands an arms length away and patiently waits to be throttled. A throttling by the way, that again made me think someone behind the camera of before, very much had the Lugosi Monster in mind. Its staging is reminiscent of Ygortstein/Wolfman throttling still.
The film has a few snickers spread through out, but is tough going. But those with the stamina will be rewarded with the funniest "Amazons VS Pirates VS Ghouls in Black Knit Caps and Sunglasses while the Frankenstein Monster stands around looking desperate for attention" scene I have ever seen.
