I just watched an episode of Stingray in which the Peter Lorre-type assistant to Titan, XQ Zero, impersonates a professor who claims he can make the "dumb" (not PC!) speak, in order to penetrate Marineville. Of course, he can't do any such thing, and at the end of the episode Commander Shore remarks how good it is that he couldn't help Marina learn to talk, because then they would have TWO talking women on the base.

Wow.
"The important question is not, are there aliens on other worlds? No. The important question is, do they have ray guns?"