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Dec 10 14 3:52 PM
Well, you guys warned me! :
Van Helsing is an insanely stupid movie... but... I still enjoyed it! I didn't enjoy it because it was so bad (that is, I didn't make fun of it; it was too bad of a movie even for that, imo). Rather, I found a few things about the movie to like, in spite of its awfulness.
It's nice having a movie that features, Dracula, the Wolfman/men, Frankenstein's Monster, and Mr. Hyde, and an evil Igor/lab assistant all in the same film. Yes, even if Dracula is inexplicably portrayed WAY, WAY, WAY over the top (I thought at first that they wrote Dracula for comic relief). And, yes, even if Frankenstein's Monster is a whiny oaf. Even still, it is nice to see all these monsters crammed together into one movie!
The opening black & white scene in Frankenstein's castle was a nice homage to the classics. Probably the only scene in the whole film that wasn't bursting with absurd CGI effects and stilted dialogue!
It was cool to see "the Wolfman" tussle with Bat-ified Dracula! The script for the unmade Universal project, Wolfman vs. Dracula, called for a final battle pitting the Wolfman against Dracula in the form of a bat monster, so I found it interesting to see this vision finally realized all these years later!
Hugh Jackman looks cool as Van Helsing/Solomon Kane. The fact that he is armed with buzzsaw shurikens and a machine gun crossbow doesn't diminish the striking image he casts as the famed monster hunter.
The thing I was most surprised by was the Horse & Carriage scene! That was the one, crystalized moment from the trailer that I remember convincing me how much Van Helsing would suck, and to avoid it forever. But, in the context of that scene, it actually works! The most important thing is, of course, that the carriage fails to complete the jump and careens into the gorge below. Moreover, the whole "carriage jump" is revealed as a diversion, rather than a serious attempt to jump the gorge with a horse-drawn carriage. So, Van Helsing gains a modicum of credibility there.
In conclusion, Van Helsing is a monumental stinker. But, well, it's packed full of monsters and spooky settings, and.... well, I guess I like having Van Helsing around, in the same way that I like seeing all the monstery stuff in the shops around Halloween time. It's not that I take Jo-Ann Fabrics' Frankenstein Monster Seasonal Wreath as the definitive deal, but, it's nice to be surrounded by so much of the kind of thing that I love.
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