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Just got back from DARK SHADOWS -- a Thursday afternoon matinee (had the day off), three people in the theater, me, Eileen and some guy in shorts who apparently was chewing ice loudly from his giant-sized Coke for half the movie!

Despite that boor in the back row, DARK SHADOWS was about what I expected from a Tim Burton film: striking visuals, vivid characters and a can't-take-your-eyes-off-him performance by the wonderful Johnny Depp.  All overcoming a predictable storyline and a needlessly over-the-top windup.

What I DIDN'T expect -- especially after reading the paroxyms of grief and disappointment all over fandom -- was that the film is NOT an over-the-top comedy (despite the TV ads), and that it in fact is surprisingly faithful to the 1960s-70s soap opera, in characters, in storyline, in gothic look and in capturing the true essence of that show.

Here's some context: I remember not liking the Batman TV show as a teenager, although the art of 'what a travesty!' and 'it sucks!' deprecation had not yet been as keenly developed as it is today.  Adam West's painted eyebrows and "Holy Fire Extinguisher, Batman!' was not what I expected, or wanted, at all.

Critics though wisely said that indeed, the 1966 Batman with all its 'Pows!' and 'Thunks!' for good or bad did replicate the 1960s comic book experience. (DC pop-art anyone?)

Similarly, I'd have to argue, and argue strongly, that Johnny Depp's Barnabas Collins is far closer to Jonathan Frid's version than today's denunciators would dare to admit.  Sorry gang, they are over the top in different ways, but it's the same guy.


Like Frid, Depp totally overwhelms the project. Without Depp's performance, there's not much of anyone throwing a shadow, let alone a dark one.  Just as without Frid's performances, most of the original DARK SHADOWS was awkward acting, nonsensical soap plotlines and far more of a kid's show than I realized. Young David? The pasty-faced Leviathans? Please.

Sample dialogue from the original DARK SHADOWS, which many view as some rich gothic classic:

Quentin: 'You hadn't, um, heard reports of a headless man?'

Barnabas: 'Uh, no...no.'

Let me be clear: I am no DS expert. In fact, the opposite. I was in college most of that time, and only saw a few episodes. To prepare for the Burton film (or to brace for it after reading all the attacks here), I watched the recent DVD set, DARK SHADOWS: THE BEST OF BARNABAS COLLECTION, hosted by Lara Parker (I especially liked the black-and-white episode where Barnabas first meets Maggie), and watched again HOUSE OF DARK SHADOWS. That's just a sliver of the whole, but if those are among the best, I think I have a solid idea of the rest.

In many ways, Dan Curtis and Tim Burton are not that dissimilar.  Curtis' film version is full of memorable and even stunning moments -- the aging Barnabas, the attacks, not showing up in the mirror. But then he crudely cuts to exposition and needless filler. Not unlike the new DARK SHADOWS.  You could even argue that DARK SHADOWS 2012 moves at the same glacial pace as the soap opera did. Talk about homage!

But what startled me the most was how serious the new DARK SHADOWS is, even when draped in satire and wink. Sure, Depp's Barnabas sleeps in a few silly places but the moments are brief.  Depp's dialogue is either wonderfully wrought or needlessly overdone. But so was Frid.  Depp is quite a neck-biter when the need arises, and so was Frid (although Jonathan was admittedly scarier).

For sure there are some not-so-funny moments where he enounters 1970s culture (I have a feeling a ton more of that stuff was filmed, especially as he walked around town, but most of it might have been cut out, mercifully). 

And there are some total what-was-Burton-thinking misfires -- the claw-and-scratch sex scene with Angelique, Dr. Huffman going down on the Depp, even the gratuitous use of Alice Cooper (although Barnabas' line, 'that's the ugliest woman I've ever seen' was very funny).

On DARK SHADOWS, I think Tim Burton very smartly captures the truth of the soap opera -- a commanding look and performance by the star vampire who is surrounded by, sorry, juvenile horror claptrap. Beyond the look, all Burton could do was think, 'OK, what if an 18th Century vampire WAS thrown into 1972?'

The results are decidedly mixed, but anyone who thinks Burton's Collinswood is a perversion of the original wasn't watching either very closely.

Seriously. Watching old DARK SHADOWS, then new DARK SHADOWS, then old DARK SHADOWS again (when I got home), seemed an incredibly seamless experience. Same vampire, same house, same nutty sitcom family and unrealistic relationships. Depp and Frid are overwrought in different ways, but both clearly dominate the proceedings. No one doubts either actor is Barnabas Collins.

So list me as enjoying the film, almost primarily for Depp's fabulous performance.  And heck, it even had Christopher Lee!

david