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In the beginning, heavy metal was Dionysian. Not a whole lot of thought put into an ideology, just having fun and rocking out. Emphasis was always put on musicianship and technical ability and professionalism. And there was always the element of fantasy and Romanticism in the lyrics.

Punk was a complete hostile reaction to that. Heavy Metal (or just rock in general) had long songs and solos, so punk was the opposite. Punk always had an agenda, even if it was only to challenge the mainstream society. A lot of the original punks were art-school student types, and they put more thought into the image and presentation... it was always more related to real life and the ills of society, whether protesting, or becoming nihilistic about it. Of course, there's always bands that did their own thing, like the Ramones, who were always very influenced by the old Phil Spector bands and bubblegum pop.

Hardcore took it to the next level, when the kids who discovered punk were inspired to form their own bands, scenes, labels, zines, etc. Things became a lot more political and lock-step. These fresh new converts always had the most rigid orthodoxy. Yeah, you had a band like the Misfits who wandered into hardcore, but that was more because they couldn't play, so relied on speed and ferocity, like the young kids just coming up. Don't forget, they started out in 77 as a very artsy, keyboard-driven band before switching to their Ramones-style buzz. Rules quickly formed on what you could wear or do... and some bands protested that, but it didn't change until later as the scenes grew older.

Punks and hardcore were very disdainful of metal in general because of orthodoxy. Metal kids were considered burnouts and dumb, and you were too if you listened to it. Of course, a lot of kids grew up on hard rock and metal before drifting into punk/hardcore, but they liked to forget all that. The thing was, after that enormous buzz you got from forming a punk/hardcore band, or supporting your local bands, and watching them put out records, there wasn't really anywhere to go. After a few years, bands that had been around a while just started naturally getting better, and songs grew more complex and the scene parameters grew. They realized they did like the old metal after all, so they would take what they wanted and incorporate it into the mix.

On the flip side, metal kids disdained punks for being decadent freaks and weirdos. And they didn't consider punk real music at first because it wasn't seen as ambitious or complex as metal.

That's how some punk bands started growing more metal... of course some had that sound to begin with... there was always a wide spectrum, but in general it was usually punk or metal and never the twain shall meet. And some metal bands liked the speed and ferocity and lyrics of punk, and began drifting that way. Metallica grew up on dinosaur rock, then were energized by the NWOBHM, which was itself influenced by UK punk's DIY ethos, and by their club days they were also listening to the Misfits and Discharge. Slayer were listening to Minor Threat and Verbal Abuse and all those bands. Anthrax was influenced by hardcore and KISS, it seems. Plus Stephen King and comic books. So you got speed metal, thrash (which used by itself was more a hardcore term) metal, etc.

DRI and a few other "crossover" bands were really instrumental in smearing the lines because they seemed equal parts metal/punk, whereas other bands were more punk or more metal. But when kids on both sides got together to watch these bands, there were fights and rivalries. Some hardcore kids, the skinhead types, went out of their way to provoke violence against anyone that didn't fall under approved standards. After a while, as hardcore played out and expanded its musical boundaries, the fighting died out, but for a while there there was a line you didn't cross. Metal kids looked for trouble, too, but they were a lot less violent (I'm not counting moshing and slamming, which didn't have violent intent and didn't come into metal until the speed metal days anyway) because their scenes weren't as rigidly self-policed or, dare I say it, uptight.